What is the difference between responding to feelings and responding to content

When your emotional reaction is disproportionate to the event, it is likely due to your rapid, undetected interpretation of that event, more than to the event itself. Examining this further may help you gain perspective of your emotional reactions. Here are some common, recurring self-defeating interpretations:. Cultural backgrounds, family values, and many other factors can influence how we express emotions. Typically, we learn to express our emotions in two primary ways: either directly expressing them to someone else e.

Learning ways to express our emotions that are aligned with our cultural values, while still attending to our need and feelings, can be helpful both for ourselves and in our relationship with others. For example, consider the scenario of a close friend planning to move away. You may feel sad, disappointed, or even frustrated about this change.

There are numerous ways you can react:. Even doing something like taking a deep breath or going for a walk to think can be a way of responding to your feelings. Remember that you have many options when it comes to expressing emotions. As previously mentioned, our families and cultural background help shape our attitudes about emotions, our abilities to identify emotions, our ways of interpreting events, and our ways of expressing emotions.

A subtle example might be where a parent distanced themselves from you or left the room whenever you got angry, thus indicating that expressions of anger were unacceptable. As an adult you have more options, including replacing those rules which are not helpful. Learning to experience your feelings fully and expressing them in ways that are adaptive and healthy is not a simple process, but there are some key components that can help. In general, it is important to become a good observer of your feelings, to accept and value them, and to attend to what they signal to you.

You probably feel annoyed — or maybe downright angry. You might feel disappointed. You might also feel pressured or stressed about all the studying you'll have to do.

You may want to jump up and yell at the teacher, "That's not fair! Some of us have weekend plans. But what if you're not the calm, collected type? Don't worry. Everyone can develop the skill of responding well when emotions run high. It just takes a bit more practice for some people. Managing emotional reactions means choosing how and when to express the emotions we feel.

People who do a good job of managing emotions know that it's healthy to express their feelings — but that it matters how and when they express them. Because of this, they're able to react to situations in productive ways:.

You've probably been in a situation where someone reacted in a way that was too emotional, making you cringe or feel embarrassed for the person. You also might have been in a situation where your own emotions felt so strong that it took all your self-control not to go down that path yourself. Maybe you can think of a time when you didn't manage your reaction. Perhaps anxiety, anger, or frustration got the better of you, It happens. When it does, forgive yourself and focus on what you could have done better.

Think about what you might do next time. The skills we use to manage our emotions and react well are part of a bigger group of emotional skills called emotional intelligence EQ. Developing all the skills that make up emotional intelligence takes time and practice.

People who react well are already good at some basic EQ skills. But these are skills anyone can practice:. Research suggests that many expressions are universal, such as a smile to indicate happiness or a frown to indicate sadness. Sociocultural norms also play a role in how we express and interpret emotions. In Japan, for example, people tend to mask displays of fear or disgust when an authority figure is present. Similarly, Western cultures like the United States are more likely to express negative emotions both alone and in the presence of others, while eastern cultures like Japan are more likely to do so while alone.

In everyday language, people often use the terms "emotions" and "moods" interchangeably, but psychologists actually make distinctions between the two. How do they differ? An emotion is normally quite short-lived, but intense. Emotions are also likely to have a definite and identifiable cause.

For example, after disagreeing with a friend over politics, you might feel angry for a short period of time. A mood, on the other hand, is usually much milder than an emotion, but longer-lasting. In many cases, it can be difficult to identify the specific cause of a mood. For example, you might find yourself feeling gloomy for several days without any clear, identifiable reason. If you've been struggling with low mood or difficult emotions, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional about your concerns.

They can offer support, guidance, and solutions that can help you get back to feeling your best. You can see our National Helpline Database to explore different resources that might help. Ever wonder what your personality type means? Sign up to find out more in our Healthy Mind newsletter.

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